There’s been a lot of news lately about bears, and none of it has been positive. Normally I’d put the bad news down to a few bears acting out, but the stuff that’s been popping up has just been anti-bear prejudice run rampant. For example, last month an Alaskan hiker named Ben Radakovich was mauled by a bear. All the headlines wanted to talk about was the mean old bear attacking the innocent hiker. But the fact is, it was Ben’s fault — he started it by scaring the bejesus out of a little bear cub who wasn’t hurting nobody.
Naturally, when the cub ran and told it’s mommy, she went back and had a little talk with Ben about his social skills. Did Ben apologize? No he didn’t. He climbed a tree and called the police. I ask you: is that any way to solve a problem? Darn tootin’ it’s not.
You know, I’ve got relatives in Alaska. For all I know, that might have been a cousin of mine. I think I’ll give them a call. Maybe it’s time for me to take a vacation in Alaska and look up this Radakovich fellow and give him a piece of my mind. What kind of name is that, anyway? He doesn’t even sound American to me. Do we need a bunch of foreigners coming over here and attacking our children? I didn’t think so…
