Mommy has been giving me weird looks since Daddy told her about my IQ test. She decided I needed to take a test on which it was impossible to cheat. How rude! As if I’d cheat on something like that — I prefer to think of it as improving the response parameters…
Anyway, she discovered that some bloke has decided that the brain’s capacity is reflected in the pattern in your eyeballs. It seems that each eye has its own pattern, and the more differences between your two eyes, the smarter you are. All you have to do is go to his webpage, turn on your computer camera, and stick first one, then your other eyeball up real close. It’ll chart the differences and tell you if you’re think-tank or janitorial material. It takes a day for them to process your application, and, if something goes wrong, you can re-take the test as many times as you wish.
So yesterday she set up an account for me, then had me do the deed. Later, when she was out shopping, I went back to the website and “replaced” my earlier attempt with a new one. First I looked into the camera with my right eye, and then Tiger looked with his left. I was rewarded this morning when Mommy told me that I’d scored the largest difference between my eyes that they’d ever seen! She was amazed, but couldn’t refute the proof, right there in front of her. She got a big smile on her face and gave me a new toy she’d been saving for my birthday. All morning she’s been telling me how proud she is of her little super genius.
I don’t think I’ll contradict her. After all, any bear that can outwit a scientific test for smartness must be some kind of genius, don’t you think?